Thriving During A Pandemic
Thriving During A Pandemic
6 Mindset Shifts and Stress-Reduction Techniques You Can Start Today
Here we are, six months into the global coronavirus pandemic. We are all feeling fatigued, and some of us have experienced significant, heart-wrenching hardships.
Deep breaths.
A new school year is upon us and families everywhere are trying their darndest to figure out the best way forward. Many schools are starting the year remotely and others are offering hybrid models with a choice of brick-and-mortar or virtual learning, or both.
There are more questions than there are answers. How will you work and supervise your child’s online education at the same time? What if your child with social communication difficulties regresses further? What happens if your daughter’s teacher tests positive for the virus? How can you help your anxious son cope when expectations change so frequently? How will your child receive specialized instruction in accordance with her Individualized Education Plan? And the worries go on and on and on...
These are BIG concerns. There is no denying the weight of what we are all experiencing in this very moment. And yet –
The year ahead is not doomed. Chronic stress, anxiety, and fear of the unknown do not have to consume us during this challenging season. There are tangible strategies that you can implement TODAY. Small changes to your mindset and daily routines go a long way toward cultivating a calm, healthy, and balanced home environment where vulnerabilities are mitigated by courage and perseverance.
6 Tips to Help Your Family THRIVE This School Year
These first three tips are about orienting your mind and body for the unique challenges this school year presents. The latter three strategies are about structuring your home environment to be conducive to learning.
Acknowledge your feelings
Give yourself permission to feel the difficult emotions that accompany our present reality. We must recognize and care for our own vulnerabilities before we can care for one another. We are all feeling ALL THE FEELS right now.
How do you feel? Are you stressed out? Exhausted? Overwhelmed? Perhaps you are confused by the juxtaposition of genuine excitement for more time at home with your children and anxiety at the prospect of managing all your responsibilities. If you’re not quite sure how you’re feeling, try talking to your partner or a trusted friend. Find some quiet time where you can check-in with yourself or spend a few minutes journaling. Consider placing a hand on your heart and ask yourself, What am I feeling and what do I need?
Why is it so important to identify your feelings?
Left unchecked, stress and negative emotions can lead to serious consequences:
Physical symptoms, such as chronic fatigue, exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, muscle tension, headaches, and stomachaches
Emotional symptoms, including excessive worry or anxiety, difficulty concentrating, numbing, sadness, irritability, feelings of anger, confusion, and/or suicidal thoughts
Interpersonal challenges, such as difficulty in relationships, outbursts of anger, or social withdrawal and isolation
2. Focus on what you can control
Once you make the connection between your stress and how it may be showing up in your body, mind, or relationships, it’s time to let go of what you cannot control and focus on what you can. You will be amazed at the difference you feel right away in your overall sense of wellbeing.
Children look to adults for guidance on how to react during stressful events. Be aware of how you talk about this pandemic. Acknowledge and make space for difficult emotions but also focus on gratitude. Taking the time to be grateful for our health and our relationships is important. Create family projects together and plan (safe!) outdoor activities that will create lasting memories. Find ways to help other families in need within your community.
Remember,
You CAN focus on gratitude
You CAN establish your family’s routines in a way that makes sense for each family member
You CAN model what it looks like to care for ourselves and our neighbors by engaging in healthy habits like frequent hand washing, social distancing and mask-wearing.
3. Practice self-care
One of the most powerful ways to thrive in the midst of stressful and disorienting times is to practice self-care. Every day. A good place to start is by eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.
The evidence behind the benefits of exercise and the importance of sleep is irrefutable. Your immune system will thank you and you will be a better parent, partner, friend, and employee or employer because of it.
If your healthy habits have been on a ‘leave of absence’ for a while, don’t try to will them back with a restrictive new diet and intense exercise regimen all at once. It’s very difficult to sustain big and immediate changes. Rather, focus on a few small things like drinking more water and adding a morning walk (for example). As you start to experience success with small changes, incorporate a few more healthy habits. Your momentum with the small wins will serve as motivation for lasting lifestyle changes.
Another powerful way to practice self-care is through mindfulness and meditation. Research points to the effectiveness of meditation in reducing blood pressure, anxiety and depression, and insomnia. Some studies also suggest meditation leads to improvements in attention, working memory, spatial abilities, and long-term memory. (Don’t we all need help in these areas!?) There are many ways to practice mindfulness and meditation. Try deep breathing, centering prayer, yoga, or focusing your attention on a word or phrase while relaxing in a comfortable posture. The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion offers several guided meditations and exercises that can help get you started.
4. Make a schedule
Children thrive on consistency and routine. Adults do, too. When we know what to expect, we feel prepared and our sense of overwhelm is diminished.
We are no longer in the crisis mode of distance learning that steamrolled the nation virtually overnight in March. Instead, we are at the start of a fresh school year – school teams and families have worked very hard to make the best decisions they can with the information and resources available to them. Now is the time to establish home-learning norms and a structure that supports the whole family.
Start by setting aside time to lay out the needs of each family member. You might start with non-negotiable work and school hours. For example, maybe your child is required to log in to a synchronous math and literacy block from 8:30 am - 11:00 am every day. Perhaps you have a standing conference call every Tuesday and Friday at 1:00 pm. Write down the “musts” in your weekly calendar and build other activities around your non-negotiables. Exercise, outdoor play, downtime, and family mealtimes have more flexibility as to when they can occur each day, but they should still be given high priority. Your family’s overall health is critical to thriving this year instead of anxiously scraping by in survival mode.
Visual schedules are incredibly helpful for younger children and visual learners. You can find dozens of variations with a quick Google or Pinterest search by age or grade band. If you’re the artsy or tech-savvy type, create your own visual schedule for your children to reference each day. It should at least include the basic components listed below and may also show several other activities specific to your family:
Morning routine (wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, chores)
Academic time (may be broken up into morning and afternoon)
Lunch
Downtime (reading in room, short nap, independent play, screen time)
Exercise and/or outdoor play
Remember that the rhythms of every household are different, and that is OK. A household with two working parents with children in middle and high school will look quite different from families with three children under age five. Find what works for YOU.
5. Prepare your home to encourage children’s independence
School teachers set up their classrooms and teach their students routines that allow and encourage independent work or play time. Students learn where to find supplies for projects, when and how to ask for individual help, and what to do when they get stuck or need a break.
You can do the same at home! This is especially important for parents with professional responsibilities to accomplish at home during the school day. Invest the time up front to prepare your home to encourage your children’s independence. Depending on the ages and abilities of your children, consider implementing the following tips:
Set up a supply station – make sure your kids know where to easily find device chargers and earbuds, highlighters, pens, paper, project supplies, etc.
Create a bin of independent, quiet play activities for younger children
Establish a ‘home base’ work station (a desk in a bedroom, the kitchen table, or wherever works)
Use a timer or use a visual schedule to help set expectations for when you (parent/caregiver) can help your child and when your child needs to work on problem-solving independently
6. Learning happens anywhere, anytime!
We’ve already talked about the importance of consistent schedules and structure. We’ve made note of the need to prepare your home to be conducive to learning. But, even the most organized families with predictable schedules will find unexpected disruptions this school year. It is in these moments and indeed, throughout this whole year, that we must remember that learning can and does happen anywhere, anytime. It is not confined strictly to the online modules of virtual classrooms or worksheets sent home for homework.
Your family will thrive with a philosophy of education that sees everyday life as full of teachable moments. Have a third grader learning to add fractions? Ask him to help you double your chocolate chip recipe. And really let him do it! Have a high school freshman working through political science coursework? Invite her to watch the presidential debates this fall and discuss the candidate’s policy positions and how personality and public perception play a role.
Embodying a “learning happens anywhere, anytime” mindset towards this school year will simultaneously ease the burden of trying to manage your child’s virtual learning experience while cultivating a love for learning for the whole family. Shared learning experiences with the ones we love create lasting memories that just may make this year remarkable.
By now, you’ve heard it and read it a few dozen times: these are unprecedented times. We are wading through uncharted waters. This is true! But when we intentionally shift our focus from the unknown and the disorientation to that which we can control, we have tremendous opportunities ahead of us.
What has helped your family thrive during the pandemic? How do you cultivate a love of learning in your household? Leave a comment below – we’d love to hear from you!
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